most of us are but also aware that it is unrealistic, to expect only happiness from life, as life also means struggle, demands, disappointments and conflict.
But at least life should leave us sound!
That is what we wish for ourselves, for our children and friends.
What but happens if it comes differently?
Everyone of us wish to lead a happy life; most of us are but also aware that it is unrealistic, to expect only happiness from life, as life also means struggle, demands, disappointments and conflict. But at least life should leave us sound! That is what we wish for ourselves, for our children and friends. What but happens if it comes differently?
When something in our life happens that we did not expect, that one cannot grasp and understand and that shakes the hitherto natural soundness of our life, then this means a deep trauma for the soul, which can even with the best efforts from the person not be dealt with that easy. The gap between what happened and the own resources of how to deal with such a happening is so big, that a crack goes through the soul, which disturbs life massively and on a profound level. A so called trauma has now developed, which leaves long term imprints in the soul and in the body.
-I was 25 years old and lived with my husband in a beautiful settlement 800 metre above sea level in the Austrian Alps. At that time I was trained in all aspects of the hospitality industry. One of the things I "loved" doing in my free time (my free time was usually different to my husbands free times), was to go for long walks in the beautiful forest and high mountains surrounding the settlement. I never had any care in the world when I went for these walks. I was used to it, and I climbed many mountains alone, happy without fear and not worrying. These were my times of refreshment, joy, exercise and contemplation.
One foggy late autumn afternoon I again decided to take a long stroll into the forest. I walked through the beautiful alpine settlement, not seeing a soul as it was a time when we did not have a lot of guests, due to the foggy weather. I knew everyone on that mountain and everyone knew me. I entered the pine forest, breathed in the fresh air and enjoyed my walk on the soft ground of the path. All of a sudden I had a weird inner feeling. Something told me to not enter the forest today. My first thought was, oh I should not had watched that crime movie yesterday evening and thought that the feeling was triggered from that movie and simply continued my walk. The sensation of something being "wrong" but did not go away. It was as if the forest was talking to me, asking me to turn around and go back into the settlement, but I ignored my intuition and continued on. Deeper and deeper into the forest. I knew that path, I was a nature girl, happiest surrounded by trees and flowers and mountains, now I would soon enter an area where ,should I be attacked (which was but not on my mind at that time), I would had no way to escape. I turned around a corner walking towards a very narrow area of pathway, when a pain in my solar plexus made me stop. Out of the blue I got the sensation of "someone, some beings" screaming at me to hide behind a bush to the left. "Hide, hide now". Totally mistrusting these intuitions, thinking I am crazy, but too shaken, due to these inner feelings of sudden pain, I just stood still, when I got a sensation as if someone was stabbing me and I turned around looked backwards on the path to where that pain came from and from where I was just coming from and I got the energy impression of something big, gruesome and horrendous coming towards me. I started to move towards that bush, .........but it was too late. ....There came this tall man around the corner. His face was unnaturally pale, he was dressed in a beige suit, as if he just came out of an office. I saw his eyes and I knew in that moment, he was following me already the whole time and his intentions were to harm me. I knew if I now run away I had no chance against this big, muscular man. So I stood still and so did that man, looking towards me. I started to pray and this man moved all of a sudden to the side of the path a bit onto the forest ground looking for a stick. He made a lot of noise. I prayed for help, saying something like that. "You who gave me these impressions, you wanted to warn me all the time, I beg you to help me now." In that moment I saw myself in a split second on a cross-road, life or death on that day. I knew deep in my heart, that today was either life or death and my only way out alive was to "trust" what these helpers that I felt around me asked me to do now.
I had a strong intuition to move "towards" that man instead of running away from him, and a strong, calm, reassuring inner voice kept on warning me severe and loud, 'don't look into his eyes, don't look into his eyes. When you have passed him, run for your life."
I did, with all the trust I could gather, walk calmly towards this man only concentrating on the Help I felt was around me. He stood there with the stick in his hands, but was so utterly surprised that I calmly walked towards him, he did not expect that, .............I passed him and then I started to run. I did run and did run for 20 minutes and did not look back as I felt if I turn and do look back and see him behind me, the fear will make me weak. I did run to the settlement into my workplace and there was one of my co-workers in the foyer where I entered and she looked at me in shock, asking me what on earth has happened to me, as I was shaking so much and I told her what happened.
Others were informed, also the police, women from that day on were advised not to walk anymore alone in the forest.
My life has changed from being free, carefree in nature, happily walking into deep forests and high mountains alone, from being a very different person. It started from that moment on in the forest and this experience would have a deep impact on me for many years to come. I lost something in my life that always gave me a lot of pleasure and stress reduction. I could not walk into that forest and pass that area where that man appeared without shaking for more then ten years and I did not enjoy any walk again alone until I myself had the opportunity to release the effects of that traumatic experience. (This is my experience)
The following are actually true stories from my own clients.
-She was the first girl he moved in together. Both of them were 20. They enjoyed each others companies, said "I love you" to each other. One evening he came home from work an hour earlier then usual. He found his girlfriend, whom he trusted with not a worry in the world, in bed with her former boyfriend. .............His life would never be the same again and 25 years later he was still worrying about each of his new partners doing the same thing to him. He never was married and had a hard time to commit.
-Kathy was 5 years old. Her older sister was just diagnosed with a serious disease and both of her parents focused on the older sister and had hardly any time left for Kathy. Her uncle took on the parenting role. She loved and trusted him more than anyone in the world. She felt safe and looked after by him. He was handsome and quirky. They laughed a lot with each other and she was happy to be not alone. One afternoon she was with him in the house as he looked after her, while her parents visited her sister in hospital. They were playing hide and seek, when he did hid in the bed. When she found him he asked her to come to him under the blanket. She was laughing and thought he was playing a game, when he touched her indecently and molested her on a profound level. 50 years later the woman turned up in my office, she was still thinking each and every single day on that one experience with her uncle. You could literally say most of her life was lost to that trauma.
-4 year old Elena is accompanying her parents to visit family friends. The man of the house takes her into his office and asks her to sit on his lap. He is telling her a fairy-tale story when he starts to touch her indecently. She jumps up and tries to find her parents, but they were out of the house. The man told her to keep quiet about what just happened. When the parents came she was too afraid to talk about what just happened but when they came home she told her mum who simply did not believe her. She said this cannot be. They take her again to the same friends. It happens again, and again and again. Also her sister is getting molested. Both of them are telling the parents and asking the parents not to take them to that place again, but both parents do not want to believe what happens. Only years later her mother starts to make further investigations. She finds out that also other children were molested. Nevertheless as that friend has become the business partner of her husband, all is pushed under the carpet. Elena never had the opportunity to resolve that trauma with the help of an adult. 35 years later she comes to counselling, as she has problems in enjoying intimacy with her husband whom she loves very much. They want children but "for some reason" she just feels numb in her reproductive organs and she is not getting pregnant although they try since years and also now started IVF.
-Marie was 12 years old, when she came home after school. Her mum was in the kitchen, smiling at her, preparing dinner. All of a sudden her mum, in front of her eyes had a weird expression in her face, and then she did hold her hands on her heart, fell on the floor and died in front of her. Marie called her sister and father who then called an ambulance, but it was too late. Although her father and other relatives looked very well after her and her sister after her mothers passing, since this day, Marie suffers under anxiety and panic attacks. She feels nothing in life is safe and she is scared of disease. Now she is 25 and she finds it hard to cope with many things other people find easy to cope with.
Nothing in life is the same anymore
When we experience such things in our life our understanding about the world is unsettled. Whenever we come in similar situations, the old feelings of anxiety, horror, shame, fear come up. The feelings of being carefree and happy are gone. Perception of reality changes, feelings of fear, grief, feelings of insecurity and sleep disturbances are common. In an acute state the person experiences a sense of "dissociation" with different forms of disturbances in their consciousness. Memory loss, loss of their identity, loss of feelings and perceptions and having difficulties in being able to control body movements, all these are often occurring reactions to trauma.
Often people then say: "I am not myself anymore." Other people appear speechless, absentminded and frozen.
If such a severe reaction does not ease in the frame of 4 weeks one talks about a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Also strong, healthy and usually very well functioning people can experience PTSD and this just mentioned reaction of the soul has nothing to do with weakness.
In 70 percent of cases these reactions ease in the frame of a few months by itself, perhaps with the help from family and friends but without professional help and drugs. Luckily trauma does not always lead to PTSD. But often after such a traumatic experience, remnants of anxiety show up in the soul as chronic insecurity, grief, anxiety, occurring phobias or irritability and lead sometimes later to depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, addictions and embitterment how this was discovered in the extreme cases with war veterans.
Heavy surgical procedures, long rehabilitation periods with agonizing pain, but also difficult births can lead to a so called hospital trauma, which is perceived as having been manipulated and not in control and not been seen as a feeling human being.
The witness of a serious trauma at an accident for example, who himself was not threatened on body and life can later on, due to the impressions also suffer under Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. A lot of people who work in the protecting and helping professions like police or ambulance workers, firemen etc. who are exposed very often to traumatic experiences, likely experience in their life at some point symptoms of PTSD. Also train drivers who quite often come across deaths through suicide, can experience a form of secondary trauma.
Also suicide in the family gives relatives, friends and helpers a shock which lies heavily for a long time on the hearts and souls of all involved.
Also children who witness a difficult divorce of their parents, or violence and abuse in the home can develop typical PTSD symptoms.
Sometimes traumas can be so burdening to a person that years later s/he has "flashbacks". This means repeating, disturbing memories that flash up in images accompanied by the bad feelings. They can be trigged with similar, random impressions, like the same time of year, a certain sound or smell, an object that was also there at the time of trauma etc. and that can trigger the flashback.
Also difficult experiences in childhood can years later come to the awareness in the form of sudden unexplainable feelings of the soul. Often this does not happen with conscious memories, but with emotional reactions, like irrational panic, grief, nervous tension, anger, self-reproach or unexplainable feelings of guilt. For the people experiencing such things it is an especially unpleasant and an anxious state, as the origins of the feelings do lie in the dark.
A trauma will make itself known to the soul, if the soul is ready to deal with it
Based on trauma research it is not necessary to bring a trauma artificially to the surface as long as the trauma does not show any emotional effects in the present time. Perhaps a soul has already dealt with that trauma on an unconscious level and one can calmly trust that a trauma, if it is not dealt with, will make itself known if it is time to deal with it. This is in most cases then happening when the soul is ready to deal with that theme of the trauma, which is then significant for his/her present life.
Traumatic experiences search in their own time for a conclusion and resolve and therefore will press to the surface with appropriate feelings and perceptions that long and urge for a conflict resolution. Then one has to face such a process of conflict resolution in order to let go of the experience while being strengthened with new recognition by it.
A trauma that is suppressed with a lot of effort, binds life energy to it that will be not available for the body and finer levels of a human being and this can eventually lead to severe illnesses of soul and body.
When we are ready to face a trauma, then we can benefit to work with someone who accompanies us on that path.
If you are looking for professional support, whom should you choose?
In my personal opinion, you should choose the person with whom you feel comfortable and safe with. Is this person equipped with tools to allow you to safely navigate through possible anger, grief, resentment and severe emotional responses? In trauma research it has shown it is beneficial to allow such emotions to surface. Is this person capable and trained to help you fully release the emotions?
As simply accepting that we do have certain emotions should not be the end. We should not hang on such intense emotions. A practitioner has to be capable of leading you to new understandings that come from within you and s/he has to know how to help you release and digest the emotions and know if the emotions are truly released. Please read about the benefits to integrate BioMagnetic Healing with Hands according to Virtuosity in the frame of Counselling.
Also EFT is widely used to help patients all over the world to release the effects of deeply traumatic experiences. Read here about EFT.
Ways how we can help
My own personal experiences but also with hundreds of clients makes me a patient, empathetic and highly skilled practitioner. I do offer sessions in person and via Skype. Please also feel free to book a 15 minute free session to get to know me.
EFT Healing-Light Tapping Course Beginners - Available
The course is available You receive the PDF book. EFT Healing-Light Tapping Course for Beginners.
With additional guideline how to use with children and special needs children,
Book is 80 pages.
This EFT Tapping course is a new way combined with the original EFT. It is suitable for anyone wishing to learn the basic EFT Healing-Light Tapping and also suitable for parents inclusive parents of special needs children.
Healing Magnetism in the Frame of a Meaningful Lifestyle Course Tudor support
5 Units inclusive Bonus EFT Healing Light course. Tudor Support and Attendance Certificate. This course is suitable for individuals who wish to support their own health and well being on a comprehensive level. It is also very suitable for parents and parents of Special Needs Children. More info here
BioMagnetic Healing with Hands can help you process Emotions easier and quicker than with talking therapy alone.